Our adorably troublemaking dragons are always fun to poke and this is what happened when I asked them about Christmas.

You’ll have to decide if Kenzie’s theory is logical or not.

Santa Troubles
Alick

“He’s a stalker.” Kenzie said it so firmly I forgot to immediately question it. “I don’t know why I didn’t see it before. Grady just has to be too close to the situation to see the problem, so he’s not at fault here. Talon is…well…he’s trying to decide how to handle it.”

Huh?

“What?” Stefan didn’t even know where to start but he got more out than me.

Lorne blinked a few times before cocking his head. “That’s…”

Crazy?

Weird?

Brilliant?

“I know.” Kenzie shrugged and seemed to think he knew what everyone else was thinking but there was no way we were all on the same page. “My parents obviously didn’t know how to explain that to a child but I think they should’ve at least tried.”

Tried to what?

How was a parent supposed to explain that?

“Um, what did Talon say?” Stefan’s brain was slowly processing the situation and I was proud of how well he’d responded.

I was still bouncing between confused and trying to take it seriously, so silence was my best bet.

Kenzie sighed like it was exhausting to think about. “That he needed to do some research and investigate. The police can’t make accusations just because things look questionable. He actually used that word and wouldn’t admit there were obvious problems.”

Oh, that was a good response too.

“He sees you when you’re sleeping? He knows when you’re awake? He knows if you’ve been bad or good?” Kenzie shrugged as the buzz of the conversations around us in the diner got louder. They didn’t know what to do with Santa possibly being a stalker either. “Then there’s the stern warning about be good for goodness’ sake…it’s a warning.”

“How?” That was all I got out.

Kenzie didn’t seem to mind that we all looked stunned stupid or that half the diner was now debating the definition of stalker. He simply shrugged off my question. “I don’t know how we missed it either.”

Sure, that was what I’d been going to say.

“That song is just one guy trying to explain the problem someone is having with a stalker and we didn’t realize it.” Kenzie was still so confident it was hard to remember how ridiculous the conversation was. “We just sing stuff without listening to the words. Like that dirty song about cowboys. How was I supposed to know it was inappropriate?”

I needed to go find the actual lyrics for that song.

Both of them.

Because he should’ve known about those cowboys, right?

“I…” Stefan blinked and shifted into research mode. “I think I need to look into different Santa myths. I never thought to do that before.”

“None of us have.” Kenzie threw his arms up, barely missing Miss Nancy walking by and Lorne who was sitting beside him in the booth. “We just take what we’re told for granted since he’s magical.”

Sure…we’d use that explanation.

If Santa turned out to be real in some way I was going to owe Kenzie an apology for doubting him.

“Dragons and mages are always good because we’re special, but if he’s from another planet that might explain a few things.” Lorne frowned like he was thinking hard, but I wasn’t sure if it was real or fake. “What kind of planet has magical stalkers who like to judge people and leave presents?”

I wasn’t sure if that was a good question or not.

And judging by the debates starting around us, no one else was sure either.

“I have some new holiday books at the library.” Stefan was either tempting him with a distraction or trying to change the subject. “We could see what authors are saying about Santa.”

Authors were talking about people being fucked by Santa and the grins around the table said everyone knew it. We all remembered our manners, though, and didn’t say that out loud as we climbed out of the booth and did our best to look boring.

We clearly weren’t boring enough.

“Look at them. What are those books doing to Santa?”

Good grief.

Kenzie started to open his mouth but Lorne quickly put his hand over it and pointed to the kitchen where Miss Nancy was peeking out. “Don’t get us in trouble. She’s got three different kinds of soup on the menu.”

That reminder had Kenzie deflating and not being quite so enthusiastic to answer the inappropriate question. A nod from the ridiculous dragon had Lorne removing his hand but we all held our breath as Kenzie frowned toward the back where the question had come from “Santa brings presents in books. Everyone knows that.”

Except for a handful where he does his day job and then has fun at night.

Stefan’s pink cheeks made me wonder what he’d been reading as he picked out new books for the library. He looked so guilty he made Lorne giggle, but the naughty dragon didn’t want Miss Nancy mad at him either. “Let’s go.”

Before Miss Nancy started calling our mates.

She liked to tattle.

Oops.

Talon stepped into the doorway before we made it to the parking lot. “I’ve got questions for you.”

Who’d called?

Kenzie gave Talon a beaming smile as he threw himself at his mate. “I love your questions.”

That was cheating but it worked because Talon smiled and shook his head. “You’re not telling everyone I’m going to arrest Santa, are you? We don’t have time for a trip to the North Pole right now.”

What had the tattle tale said we were doing?

Had Kenzie told his theory to other people before he’d gotten to the diner?

Kenzie blinked and looked honestly confused enough that he didn’t seem to know what was going on either. “That’s a summer trip. I’m a sunshine dragon not a snow dragon.”

He was more likely to try to go to the beach than the North Pole.

Oh.

Okay, if the Santa thing got out of control we were heading to the beach.

“Besides, we need to let people get their presents this year before we handle Santa.” Kenzie shrugged as the voices in the diner got louder again. “We’re helpful, not mean.”

So maybe I needed to start looking at hotels for the summer?