Bonus time with our traveling cutie.

We’re going to poke Brax and see what that confusing cutie has been up to. Well, he’d say Earthlings are the weird ones and he might be right.

If you read my novella in the Dirty Daddies Monster Anthology (The Professor and His Little Roo), the next Earthling Brax tells you about will be familiar. This short mentions characters from that story, but I don’t think it contains major spoilers for The Professor and His Little Roo. (But that isn’t a new book, so if you haven’t read it, it’s time to get caught up.)

You don’t need to have read that story to enjoy this short, but if you have, the cameo will probably make you smile.

Some characters are just a handful.

Hitchhiking and Stubborn Earthlings

Humans came in many more types than I was led to believe, but since I had no one but the people of Earth to complain to, I kept my thought to myself.

Still, my education on Earth people had been highly inaccurate.

Was it polite or rude to ask what version of Earthling someone was?

Even with all my traveling since I had arrived, it was not clear as the people of Earth seemed to think it should be. Some hid very carefully and became upset when anyone guessed they were other than human. Some pretended to hide while doing it badly, like the dragons who had taken Earth as their home. Some ignored the strangeness of others, like the humans and individuals who lived near the portal.

“I enjoy walking but thank you for stopping to make sure I am safe.” I wasn’t sure why walking to new locations made humans so uncomfortable, but their rambling explanations had not helped clarify it.

However, the females of Earth were especially strong caretakers, which was the only logic I could find in the number of ways they told me I was living wrong.

“I don’t think you understand, sweetheart. We’ve got gators and big cats and…well…we’ve got a lot of things that would make a snack out of you.” She seemed to give off every indication of being earnest in her worries…but I wasn’t sure what she was.

I’d learned very early in my time on Earth not to get into the vehicles of people with conflicting auras.

Her aura didn’t seem to indicate she’d killed a large number of people and was pleased about it, but that human hadn’t looked dangerous to begin with either.

“I’ve already run into your alligators and I was fine.” It didn’t take a strong spell to repel the large creatures and they were tasty. Still, I knew not to explain that to a female of any type of Earthling. For some reason, they thought the animals highly dangerous and one that should not be consumed. “Thank you, though.”

The human expression of being stubborn settled over her face and I knew it was going to be a difficult conversation.

“I just can’t leave you this many miles from town. You’re not even heading toward the interstate. There isn’t much this way.” Her glance in the direction I was walking made me wonder if she knew the town in question had been labeled as odd.

I was hoping odd meant more than just strange humans who farmed and liked to be naked.

“I promise I am fine.” I had no desire to deal with another person of Earth who liked to kill randomly. “Thank you, though.”

“No.” She shook her head. “Hop in and I’ll take you back to the Cracker Barrel over by the interstate. You’ll be able to find someone there to take you to a bigger city.”

That sounded miserable.

Ha, I was sounding like a human already…or whatever she was.

Her frown suggested she was not going to be deterred by polite refusals. “I don’t know what species of Earthling you are and I’ve had some unfortunate altercations with a variety of dangerous individuals over the past few months. I will not get into a car when I don’t know what you are.”

She looked human but something was off, and I was confident she was not human.

She was of Earth because she gave me the same confused frown they all did, but I was still not going to get into the vehicle.

They went fast and were dangerous when they stopped suddenly.

“Oh.” Her head tilted and her smile returned. “I didn’t realize you weren’t human. Do you see auras? My new son-in-law sees those. He’s a sweetie but he’s easily distracted. How do you manage? I’ve been trying to do some research on it but the internet hasn’t been helpful at all.”

The people of Earth could talk to anyone.

“There are several spells that can be applied to objects that will help dampen the effect of auras. He will just need to focus more if he wishes to use his skills while wearing the…suppressor.” That was not the right English word but I’d never had to use the correct one before and I wasn’t sure which one to pick.

English had several words for every object, emotion, and descriptive expression.

“That’s wonderful.” She patted the seat on the passenger side and looked less intent while still trying to get me in the car. “My name is Ramina. Where are you staying? I’m going to need to talk to you about that aura suppressant. I can see why you were heading in this direction, though. You’re going to fit right in.”

The women of Earth were very good at getting their way.

I had even taken another step closer to the vehicle before I realized what I’d done. “I’m sorry. What species of Earthling are you? You don’t match.”

I really needed to learn more English words related to magic.

I’d spent entirely too much time around regular humans and people of Earth who were pretending to be human and I had not practiced enough magical vocabulary.

“Oh.” She looked down at herself and laughed. “I forgot I look human.”

She had?

How?

Was she one of the species that grouped themselves under the word shifters?

Still smiling, she looked back up at me. “We don’t blend in well, so we’ve adapted to appear human when it’s necessary. I had some errands to run and I wanted McDonald’s. Don’t tell my husband about my treat.”

“I won’t.” That didn’t mean I was getting in her vehicle, though. Did she realize she hadn’t given me any useful information? “I hope you had fun running errands. Drive safely.”

That usually encouraged humans to continue moving in their vehicles, but she smiled and somehow radiated stubbornness. Fascial expressions were odd but I thought I was reading her correctly. “We have alligators.”

Why was everyone so afraid of those?

“I am capable of repelling any size predator. Any size.” Including the dangerous human variety. “But thank you.”

Were our females as stubborn as the ones on Earth and I just had not realized it?

Did their surprising array of emotions make them only seem more stubborn?

“I’m what’s colloquially called a Bigfoot. No one uses the real name for our species. But I don’t think any of us have ever turned into crazies or serial killers, though.” She frowned, obviously searching her memory. “We’ve got some odd groups that have done the whole back to nature thing, but they’re strange and stubborn, not dangerous.”

Ah.

“I’ve heard of your people but have not run into any in my travels.” No matter what the plain humans of Earth thought, they were not the only types of people living on their planet. “I found a book on your people in a library.”

Children’s books were highly educational and had the most interesting topics, unlike the adult stories who just wanted to talk about monsters and mating rituals.

“What did it say about us?” As I finally opened the door and climbed into her vehicle, she seemed to enjoy the new topic. “Most of the time they’re ridiculous and have us being basically no smarter than bears.”

“This one was about a small female Bigfoot who wanted to go to school in the human world.” My response had her eyes going wide.

“Oh dear.” I was fairly certain her expression was indicating worry. “That’s not good. That sounds a bit too realistic.”

Yes, based on what she’d said about looking human, she was correct.

“Some people just can’t make good decisions.” Reaching over, she patted my shoulder. “You seem like a very nice boy, though. Let me tell you about my son-in-law. He looks human and could use some new friends.”

Females of Earth were very interesting…and liked to share all the information they knew.

“What are your thoughts on playdates?”

The people of Earth were very confusing…and did not all seem to be using English the same way.

Playdates?

***

Missed a Southern Charm Bonus? Click here to find all the pervious Southern Charm Shorts.

Want to read all 6 shorts at once? Click the button below to Join my Patreon (any paid tier) to download the ePub version.

This is part of what I’ve been calling my Southern Charm Shorts. It’s not just about my Myths, Legends, and Southern Charm series, though.

Confused now?

If you hate spoilers in anyway, it’s time to back out now and visit these unedited shorts again once you’re up to date with my paranormal stuff.

Click here to see all my connected paranormal books.

–
–
–
Still here?

Alright, tiny spoilers ahead.

I think these shorts are best enjoyed after you’re up to date with the dragons. You don’t need to have read anything else but understanding at least a little bit about my dragons will make these shorts more fun and they’ll make more sense.

So let’s say reading the Blue Ridge Magic series is a great idea…reading the Blue Ridge Charm series is a good idea.

But do you need to read anything else first?

I don’t think so but that’s going to be an individual preference. I don’t avoid spoilers. I read series out of order. I skip books in a series. I read every spoiler review. I’m the most annoying reader ever and to say I hate being surprised would be an understatement. (Who has trust issues? Me. Noooo.)

Other readers will be different and that’s okay.

These shorts will have a variety of scenes with characters from other books. The first short shows someone that Henely talked about in Blade. It’s an interaction that happens before Blade, so I don’t think this has an issue with spoilers.

Other shorts take place after different paranormal books and you’ll see past characters show up. I’ll do my best to give you a warning about spoilers in each short as the blog posts pop up, but these are just fun stories that show how one cutie has meet a lot of different people and ended up in a variety of interesting situations.

These shorts are going to be from one confused cutie’s point of view and we’ll get to see how odd humans and Americans specifically can look to outsiders. (Think those fun videos about Europeans visiting America for the first time for the World Cup but with fictional characters and magic.)

Have fun with a new friend and I hope you enjoy seeing some familiar faces as more of the stories get posted.

Sothern Charm Shorts, Story 1

In Blade, Henley talks about a weird magic guy he met as he traveled, so I thought I’d give you a chance to meet Weird Magic Guy. (I think this is spoiler free for Blade.)

His name is actually Brax and he’s been casually mentioned in other books, just not usually by name. Brax has an interesting story you’ll get to see over a variety of little shorts. We’ll get to see who he meets as he travels around the South and figures out where he belongs.

Have fun getting to know Brax.

Mismatched Auras and Helpful Humans

Earthlings were sometimes more dangerous than they appeared. Even without claws or natural defenses outside of manipulative tendencies, they found unique ways to make themselves unsafe to be around.

It was actually impressive in a confusing way.

I wasn’t sure what type of hazardous behavior the human in front of me enjoyed but he did not match his aura and I had only seen it one other time.

No one with an aura that…troubling…should smile so politely.

“I do not require attention.” Thanking him for interrupting me from my decision making seemed unreasonably polite, but humans had strange rituals. “Thank you.”

His smile widened.

I did not understand all of their emotional displays but that one was clear. He was enjoying whatever he was thinking because no one ever found me that pleasurable to be around. Humans always frowned and asked if I was feeling okay, and other species on Earth had even stranger questions about mating issues and where I had grown up.

Mars was somehow always an option but that seemed to be an uninhabited planet in their solar system.

“I saw you come into the park earlier. The locals aren’t that approachable, so I’ll be your welcoming committee, friend.” The happy-presenting man sat down across from me at the stone-type table in the park I had found. “You homeless?”

He frowned and looked down at my bag before I could answer. “Hitchhiking?”

I needed to learn better ways to project how dangerous I could be.

For some reason, most humans did not fear my kind and could not sense us as a type of predator to be wary of. It was strange and should be studied by someone with more patience than I possessed. Before coming to Earth, I would have described myself as highly patient.

I would have been wrong.

I just had not been thoroughly tested before coming to Earth.

“No. I do not participate in that activity.” Well, I had done it twice and currently was at what humans called a fifty-fifty chance of ending up in a fucked-up situation. “I am also not looking for friends or a welcoming committee.”

I had come into town to find a hot meal that was cooked by humans because I generally enjoyed their food but that was turning out to be a difficult goal. This was the first primarily human settlement that did not have restaurants open in the evening. They had one establishment labeled as a bar that only provided nuts and pretzels. Everything else closed at an unreasonably early hour.

“You’re walking, then? No place to stay tonight?” His question and the way he looked around made me wonder if there was a negative reason others were sleeping in the outdoors. “Well, friend, let me at least give you a ride to a safer part of town.”

The strange human smoothed his features and widened his eyes. “It won’t take long and I’d feel a lot better about it. I can’t leave you here alone.”

Why could he not leave me here?

Why did where I slept matter so much to humans?

Their top questions when meeting new people were always about what I needed to eat and where I was sleeping. That was quickly followed by questions about my choice of career, and sometimes what kind of vehicle I possessed, but that inquiry seemed to be location dependent.

“Can you explain the instinct to let your thoughts interfere with my decisions?” Humans did that on a regular basis and in a variety of ways. “I understand your desire to damage me, but since I will not allow that, would you please explain why Americans do this so often?”

It could be all people of Earth had the same drive, but most of the ones I had met so far were American. Data was showing that it was at least a feature of humans on this part of Earth, but I had no way of knowing how widespread it was.

The dangerous man blinked at me oddly before his smile shifted to look like a dragon on the hunt that had gone slightly feral. “I’m just helpful, friend.”

It was possible I didn’t understand the meaning of that word in the English language.

“I will try again since this might be a communication error. English is not my first language.” It had accidentally been my fourth, but I had persisted in finding the correct local dialect. “Your aura does not match the signals you are sending. For the people of…for the locals, that usually indicates predatory behavior dangerous to others.”

Humans came in a variety of types and some seemed more mentally healthy than others. They took this as obvious but it was something they needed to warn visitors about. I was building a list of topics that should be addressed, such as their habit of adding surprisingly hot vegetation to a variety of foods.

The odd human leaned forward on his bench and his expression shifted to one no one had shown me yet. “Oh, friend. I’m going to have fun getting to know you. I like meeting new people.”

That was not as descriptive as he seemed to think it was.

“Was that supposed to make me feel like prey or were you just providing information?” Humans were very confusing, but it might be related to how difficult learning English had turned out to be. “This may be another communication difficulty. If you could explain that more clearly, I would appreciate it.”

I couldn’t appropriately defend myself if I didn’t understand what danger he presented.

As the man cocked his head, another human who’d been talking to himself and walking in a large circle around the park sighed loudly and headed in our direction. He waved his hand between us and gave the impression of being frustrated. I had seen that expression enough to be able to quickly label it. “This isn’t normal behavior for humans or Americans in general. Hell, the local homeless guys won’t explain why but they say he’s wrong.”

Interesting.

Did that mean this man wasn’t human?

Was he not American?

Were the unhoused humans more knowledgeable about dangers?

Before I could decide how to inquire about that information, he continued. “I’m not sure what you are but don’t go anywhere with him.”

The dangerous human was glancing between us but wasn’t giving any indication about what he was thinking.

“He is persistent, but I will not go anywhere alone with a stranger.” At the very least it ended up with me being asked questions I knew I should not answer.

Humans reacted strangely to the word alien….and dragon was not much better.

“Good but be careful walking around too.” He shrugged, giving the human gesture to look confused. “They’ve had a lot of weird rumors about people going missing lately. I haven’t found anything living around here, though.”

What kind of things had he been looking for?

Living?

Did he mean the location or was he searching for the dead?

The dangerous man gave several expressions in quick succession before standing up. “Just trying to be helpful, friend.”

The word helpful did not always mean what individuals thought it did.

“I’m Henley.” The new human looked slightly confused as the other man quickly exited the park, but he held out his hand in the customary local greeting. “I’m not dangerous unless you do something first, and I don’t mind that you’re not human, but you need to practice blending in more.”

How had I not blended?

“That is not as easy as it should be.” I shrugged to mimic showing confusion. “Humans are very strange and their behavior changes regionally and by species.”

And depending on their mental state.

Henley sighed. “Okay, I’ll give you that.”

He would give me permission to be right?

“This isn’t a safe part of town, even if you’re more dangerous than you look.” The man named Henley raised one eyebrow in the gesture that meant he wanted more information without having to ask.

“I am.” Nothing about him said I should avoid the human, so I answered freely. “Thank you for being polite.”

“That’s…” Shaking his head, Henley frowned. “I don’t think I’m going to ask.”

He wasn’t going to ask what?

“People are disappearing in the area, though, and the victims might not all be human.” Henley’s tone was serious. “Do you need directions somewhere safer? I was just driving through and was doing a little bit of research, but I can help you if you need it.”

Was there something else hunting humans in the area?

“I do not mind walking and I am capable of defending myself in a variety of ways.” Being able to use both magic and my dragon form, I was more than capable of defending myself from anything on Earth. “I decided to come into town for dinner but that did not turn out as I had expected.”

I should have been able to easily find either a burger restaurant or Olive Garden, but neither option was around, and when I had asked for directions, I’d been met with unhelpful explanations of local deities.

“Oh.” Henley frowned. “Um, my truck is over there. The one with the trailer. If you let me, I’ll take you over to a safer side of town that has restaurants and hotels.”

He glanced between himself and the truck before shrugging. “You can’t be more dangerous than those shifter kids. It took a week to get that smell out of my truck and I had to replace the seats. Be careful of skunks. They startle really easily.”

He was strange, even for a human.

But as odd as he was, his aura shone brightly.

“I will accept your offer but I will remind you that I am dangerous.” I wasn’t sure what a skunk was, though, so I didn’t know how I compared to that creature.

“Me too.” He stood straighter and smiled. “It’ll be nice not to have to hide that.”

Was there a logical human response to that?

Every time I thought I understood humans, they found new ways to surprise me.

***

Want to read all 6 shorts at once? Click the button below to Join my Patreon (any paid tier) to download the ePub version.