Brax is back and telling us all about what he thinks of Earth and getting his first electronic leash.

This takes place in the same town that my Myths, Legends, and Southern Charm series is set, but you don’t need to have read those books to enjoy this short. It also does not have any spoilers for specific books

Sparkly Earthlings and Electronic Leashes

“I am new to town and I have been told that I need a phone. The magic box called an electronic leash.” I could not help the frustrated tone in my voice, but I was glad to see the man with the oddly sparkly aura frown and nod as well.

As I muted my ability to see his aura, I gestured toward the wall of devices. “I prefer a simpler life and have been nomadic, but I am going to stay in town and need to start establishing my leashed life.”

It bothered the people of Earth to see that I had not found a permanent location to live and they became more dramatic when they realized I was doing what was called camping. That was considered stressful to anyone but the one who didn’t want a vehicle and single place to live.

Explaining that I was without the device they called a cell phone made their reactions even stronger, however.

The people of Earth were very strange with the way they chained themselves to their technology, but it seemed like it couldn’t be helped. There were too many people without magic, and those with magic did not always have similar skills.

“Yeah, it can’t be helped if you’re in one place.” The sparkly man shook his head. “Can’t even pay bills without the damned things.”

Establishing a life that required bills was my next goal. It seemed to be a step that would make others more comfortable with my presence.

“It is unfortunate.” But it was a necessary object to have if I was going to explore the town for an extended period. “I have been asked several times already for a number and I do not have one.”

The people of Earth had numbers for everything. Once I explained that I grew up in a commune, they were accepting of not having the government number, but the lack of a phone or electronic money made them very uncomfortable.

I was fairly certain that they would accept my label of alien easier than my lack of a phone and electronic money.

Earthlings were confusing.

“Family’s kind of out there, huh?” The sparkly man seemed to understand I was different without it becoming an issue, but since I didn’t understand what he was talking about, I simply nodded.
Out where?

No matter where he thought I was from, my response was enough for him to keep talking which I appreciated. “Do you need human documentation? I never realized how many families were still living off the grid.”

Oh.

The magical version of the humans who farmed and lived naked.

“It’s more common than you think.” Shrugging, I did my best to give a human visual reaction and felt pride in my ability to use the combined words. “Just traveling around, I’ve run into a variety of settlements that live off the grid.”

Human and other.

“I’m going to like living with more comforts, however.” I gave him what I hoped was an appropriate smile as he chuckled. “You have a very nice town and I am going to enjoy exploring it.”
Especially with how many different types of Earthlings there were in one place…shifters and mages and the startling number of visible dead people wandering around.

Mental notes were no longer going to be enough to keep track of information about the people of Earth. Documentation was going to be important, which was one reason I had agreed to get the phone device.

“We’re all kind of weird but we’re really friendly.” Whatever he saw in my reaction or lack of reaction made him laugh softly again. “We’ll figure out where you fit in.”

Was that his job as well?

“Thank you.” But first, my leash. “To start that process, I need a phone.”

It was going to be difficult but I was smart enough to figure anything out.

I’d figured out how to escape my family and my world.

I’d figured out how to go through the portal.

I’d figured out how to obtain the human language English with its confusing structure.

I had even figured out how to obtain paper money by working what they called odd jobs…which were never odd but usually simple and required manual labor.

“We’ll find the right one for you.” Studying me as we walked over to the wall, the sparkly man seemed to be taking his job as an electronic helper salesman seriously. “Let me know if I’m on the wrong track, but I think we want something that you can use voice commands for and that’s easy to learn?”

His tone seemed to indicate he was expecting me to take offense.

“Yes.”

I wasn’t sure why I would take offence at the truth.

Maybe it was an issue with other people of Earth?

“I am not looking forward to the experience and would like it to be simple and at a low cost.” What else? “The ability to make notes through talking would be appreciated as well.”

Speaking English and writing English seemed to involve two very different spells. Academic mages never considered the full consequences of their spells, but it was possible that I had overheard the wrong information somehow.

“Can you read English?” The sparkly man turned back to the wall of devices when I shook my head. “I think they can be spelled to work with a variety of nonhuman languages, but eventually you’ll need to learn to read it.”

How were these people so open with magic and the variety of individuals living on the interesting planet, but the first ones I’d met around the portal had been so focused on hiding?

“I did not know that.” Why had I not thought of that? “I appreciate the information. Thank you.”

Some people were very helpful.

Some were very odd…like the woman who was currently flashing between looking human and having very nonhuman ears.

“No problem.” Picking out what I hoped was a simple device, the sparkly man turned back to me. “We’ll get you hooked up with a phone and then I’m going to send you over to the coffee shop. That’ll fix up the rest. You just need to find someone to talk to and tell them you don’t have a job or a place to stay yet.”

Ah.

Gossip.

That was one human quality I approved of.

“Any help in establishing myself in your community would be appreciated.” There was no point in stumbling through learning to become a steady member of their town if others could make the process easier.

Steady?

No.

There was another word.

There was always another word.

“Don’t worry. We’re annoyingly helpful.” Smiling like he didn’t know he’d possibly insulted his town, the sparkly man chuckled. “We’ll find you a job, a place to live, and a new best friend before you know it.”

If everyone was as stubborn as the woman Ramina who had driven me into town earlier in the week, I had no doubt about his sincerity and understood why he was laughing.

Yes, I just needed to find a woman of Earth and they would handle the situation for me.

***

Missed a Southern Charm Bonus? Click here to find all the pervious Southern Charm Shorts.

Want to read all 6 shorts at once? Click the button below to Join my Patreon (any paid tier) to download the ePub version.