Time to see what Brax has been up to next. This is part of my Southern Charm shorts, and if this doesn’t sound familiar at all, I’m going to link the first post about these here.
You’ll need to have read the other shorts for this to make sense, but they’re all free here on my site, so check them out and then come back and see what Brax has been up to.
Naughty-naughty for falling behind, though.
For everyone else, ready to see what Brax is getting up to? This doesn’t contain any spoilers for other stories, so have fun with his adorable logic and confusion.
Location – Location – Location
“Proper life choices require I have a single place to live.” Madison made dramatic sounds as I stepped out of the truck to talk to Elton who was one of the locals in charge of placing people in specific homes. He claimed to be a human who understood the local individuals who were other, but like nearly every human, he was not completely human.
I had been told that humans would sleep with nearly anything. I had not believed it at the time, but it seemed to be correct, even if their descendants didn’t seem to realize it.
Elton gave me a confused blink before nodding slowly. “I think it’s best I don’t ask where you’ve been sleeping.”
He was smart even if he did not seem to know what he was.
“Normally I’d start with lining up some showings to see what you like, but I think we’re going to take a step back.” Unlike others who complained about everything, Elton was always neutral and what Madison called unflappable.
Even though he was not a bird.
English would always be very strange to me.
“I will let you guide our process.” He had more dealings with the locals when it came to this topic. “What information do you require?”
“Do you have a bank account to be able to electronically pay your rent?” Elton gave me the expression of skepticism. That had been a difficult one to learn, but I had mastered it.
“No.” Holding up my electronic leash, I smiled. “I have a phone.”
He tilted his head and frowned. “Eventually someone is going to ask where you’re from, Brax.”
It did not seem to be today.
“I don’t get paid enough to ask, so you’re safe for now.” Human humor was interesting but it must have been funny because Madison laughed, drawing his attention. “Is Madison paying you and do you understand how rent works?”
He knew to ask good questions to new individuals.
“Yes. I receive what you call a paycheck and I understand trading living space for money.” My original society was not set up that way, but it made sense for the people of Earth. “I do not need a large amount of inside space, but I do require access to the outdoors.”
“Okay.” Looking more pleased, Elton pulled out his phone to use the magical words app to make notes. “That’s a good place to start. How much privacy do you require?”
Glancing up, he raised one eyebrow. “Normally I have pretty good radar about what my clients need based on what they are.”
Ha.
I produced a smile that had him shaking his head.
“I am what you would call adaptable about most things.” I was also openminded and adventurous because I was thriving in their strange world. “I can also use all household amenities without causing problems.”
I had seen a variety of individuals who had difficulties with that.
Elton blinked. “That’s actually good to know because I’ve had some interesting clients lately. We’re getting an influx of new people.”
That would explain the increase in customers.
“You’ve had people weirder than Brax?” Madison’s head popped out of the door to the trailer. “Really?”
Chuckling, Elton nodded. “Yep.”
“That explains some of the reviews we’ve been getting lately.” Shaking her head, Madison sighed as she went back inside to hopefully finish making the salad. “The new people complain about everything.”
“They seem to need consistency in everything.” Taco Tuesday must have tacos. Meatballs must be made of meat. Napkins even needed to be square. “I had not realized it was because they were new.”
“They’re something alright.” Straightening, Elton looked down at his notebook. “Okay, this is a practical question because we have a lot of different communities and each one is very different, but have you met any of the locals that living next to would be difficult.”
Oh.
“I am familiar with not being rude. Please do not give me trick questions.”
I was polite even if I was confused sometimes.
Groaning, Elton ran a hand over his face. “No, it’s honestly not rude in this case. If you don’t like nosy people, I can’t put you in the Bigfoot community, and if you have any wolf shifter in you, I’m not putting you next to the cats. Nothing is worth that much drama.”
Hmm.
“Madison?” Stepping toward the truck, I decided to make sure I could blame her if I ended up getting screamed at. It seemed to be a human custom everyone from Earth had adapted to. “Will I suffer in my community standing if I answer the question?”
Elton sighed loudly, but Madison was helpful. “You can only tell Elton something like that. If anyone else asks, it’s a trick question.”
Ah.
Like the doctors and bartenders.
The people of Earth had several types of jobs where we were not supposed to lie to them. I hadn’t figured out how they were connected, but I was actively looking for more information on the topic.
Thanking Madison, I turned back to Elton. “The shifters based on a cat form do not like me. I don’t know why, but I make them uncomfortable.”
Laughing, Madison poked her head out of the truck again. “They want to attack him. It’s really funny and they can’t seem to help it.”
“I was being polite with my wording.” The cats of Earth liked playing with smaller animals called lizards and it seemed like they had the instincts to torment me as well. “But yes, it would be best if I lived apart from them.”
Elton’s expression changed to look serious and maybe confused. “I don’t know why I thought my regular list of questions would be helpful when it came to you.”
I didn’t know either but I was not going to take the blame.
We would blame Madison…she was usually at fault for most issues.
***
Missed a Southern Charm Bonus? Click here to find all the pervious Southern Charm Shorts.
Want to all the shorts as one collection? Click the button below to Join my Patreon (any paid tier) to download the ePub version.
Southern Charm Bonus Shorts is a collection of 6 short bonus stories taking place in my shared Myths, Legends, and Southern Charms Series and Blue Ridge Magic Series world.
Contains the stories:
-Mismatched Auras and Helpful Humans
-Hitchhiking and Stubborn Earthlings
-Sparkly Earthlings and Electronic Leashes
-Meatballs and Edible Ties
-Human Entertainment and New Friend Confusion
-Location – Location – Location