It’s time for another Sothern Charm short and to see what Brax has been up to.
I love getting a peek into how Brax sees new situations and how he mentally sorts through all the odd things we do. We’re definitely interesting and it probably does make finding friends a challenge, but don’t worry, he’s up to the task.
If you’ve read The Math Teacher & His Werewolf this is going to look familiar, but you don’t need to have read that to enjoy this short. Those characters make a cameo here, but I don’t think this contains spoilers for their book.
Human Entertainment and New Friend Confusion
Humans found entertainment in the strangest things, but I could not understand why I was included in their odd lists. I had become very proficient at blending in with the odd people of Earth, but sometimes they still confused me.
“You do not need food?” Then why had they come to the food truck? The point was in the title and every human seemed to understand what the purpose of this shaped vehicle indicated.
“No.” The male I had come to understand was the leader of the local group of wolf shifters smiled. “I’m just showing my mate around town. He’s new, too.”
Ah.
“An introduction based on having similar backgrounds.” The people of Earth did that a lot no matter what kind of individuals they were. “Thank you for making introductions.”
Sticking my hand out through the window somehow made the human with the wavy aura frown before he completed the gesture. “Um, it’s nice to meet you. I’m Dorian. I teach math over at the high school.”
A teacher.
Fascinating.
“You have many young individuals in the area. It’s amazing to see.” Somehow with the different magic, the people of Earth found partners and procreated at an amazing rate. “The number of mates is also good to see. Are you the type of individual who can carry children? I understand for many species a new bonding increases fertility.”
His odd blinking pattern made me wonder what I had done wrong.
As he considered the question and his large mate laughed, I turned to Madison who had been allowed to chop vegetables. “You said asking about procreation was acceptable as long as it was asked to new mates.”
Her shrug made me wonder what else she had misled me about. “I think it should be, so that’s what matters.”
Even I knew that was not how social customs worked on Earth.
In any of their groups.
I had practice apologizing but before I could gain additional practice, the wolf mate stopped laughing. “He’s human. He can’t do that.”
“Thank the ancestors.”
I ignored the smaller mates dramatic whisper because that was usually what others did in similar situations, but I couldn’t help studying them both.
Was he human?
They came in so many odd varieties.
“Okay.” Agreeing with people when they were clearly wrong was becoming second nature. “It’s nice to meet a human with such an interesting aura.”
Technically I had agreed with them, so I was going to count it as polite and I knew Madison would too.
Wait.
“What are you doing to the tomatoes?” She was what humans called a menace when left unsupervised. “Those are not slices, Madison.”
Turning to the couple who had just come to use the food truck as part of some kind of dating ritual, I did my best to imitate the correct smile. “One moment, please. We have a vegetable crisis.”
Madison did not care that she had caused the issue.
“But they looked so much cuter chopped.” She held up one small square. “See? It’s adorable.”
American Earthlings put slices on anything they labeled a burger. That was what they expected and they stayed in place better with that shape. “That is not how humans eat that fruit vegetable hybrid on any sandwich or burger.”
Hmm.
Could Taco Tuesday happen on other days of the week?
Madison’s logic could not be trusted, so I turned to our visitors. “What other foods do American’s eat where tomatoes are diced into small squares? Please keep in mind it is not Tuesday.”
The wolf started laughing again, but I ignored his delight at our entertainment and focused on the one called a teacher. I knew he would be just as helpful as the rest of his people and was patient as he decided on an answer. “They would look good on mini pizzas or in wraps?”
Oh.
The people of Earth loved wrapped foods.
I was right again…teachers were the most helpful humans of Earth outside of the pushy ones that had children and sold candles to their neighbors.
“I can produce wrapped food.” Maybe meeting new individuals was not as frustrating as I had usually encountered. “Thank you.”
He still seemed confused, but manners were ingrained from his species of Earthling. “You’re welcome and I’m glad I could help.”
As his mind processed the conversation faster, he straightened and looked around. “Are you going to wrap the burgers?”
That seemed to be the best plan.
“Yes, the people of America liked wrapped foods and will generally overpay for something encased. It will also keep the burger vegetables from falling out. Complaints increase in proportion to how messy an individual finds their meal.” Too many people of Earth struggled with anything sticky touching their hands.
Not to be confused with having sticky fingers.
English was very odd.
“I hadn’t thought about that.” Looking slightly less confused, he gave me a very human smile that usually indicated mild happiness at having what was called an ah-ha moment. “People complain for the strangest reasons.”
Especially the people of Earth called Americans…
This is too messy.
This is too dry.
This is weird meat.
It was nice to see my new human appearing acquaintance understood that fact and made me wonder what else we would have in common.
Hmm…was it time for me to establish having friends on Earth?
That could be very interesting.
Oh, maybe they could explain what questions it was acceptable to ask if a couple seemed to be having sex in public…Madison could not be trusted with that answer either.
***
Missed a Southern Charm Bonus? Click here to find all the pervious Southern Charm Shorts.
Want to read all 6 shorts at once? Click the button below to Join my Patreon (any paid tier) to download the ePub version.
Southern Charm Bonus Shorts is a collection of 6 short bonus stories taking place in my shared Myths, Legends, and Southern Charms Series and Blue Ridge Magic Series world.
Contains the stories:
-Mismatched Auras and Helpful Humans
-Hitchhiking and Stubborn Earthlings
-Sparkly Earthlings and Electronic Leashes
-Meatballs and Edible Ties
-Human Entertainment and New Friend Confusion
-Location – Location – Location