“You know, the stuff you read gets weirder every year. Did that just say something about diapers?” Hunter’s head came over the back of the couch, scaring ten years out of me.

“What did I say about pulling that shit on me?” Slamming my phone to my chest, I glared up at him. He’d done it on purpose, so I didn’t feel bad about the slightly hostile tone.

“That I couldn’t do it when it was a hot scene because that was just rude.” Hunter’s head cocked, and he gave me a look like I’d suddenly become a lot more interesting.

Shit.

“I’m not sure that’s what I said, smartass.” It might have been—but with that expression on his face, I wasn’t going to back down. “How about you not try to make me jump unless it’s like Halloween or something?”

“And my birthday.” He thought for a moment. “And your birthday.”

That was going to be annoying as hell. “Deal.”

Hunter frowned at me. “I think I should have held out for more.”

“You can’t say no. You don’t have a choice; I need you to do this.”

“Huh?” Shooting up in bed, Mason didn’t even realize he had his phone in his hand until Maddy screeched again.

“MASON!”

“Maddy?”

“Are you listening to me?” The volume of her screech told Mason she’d been trying to get his attention for a while. When had he answered the phone? Mason had been up all night finishing a coding project that had a tight deadline. Looking over at the clock on his nightstand, he stretched and noticed that it was almost five o’clock in the evening.

“No, sorry. I was asleep. What’s up?”

“I need you to come down to Midnight. We had a cancellation at the last minute and I need someone else so we have an even number.”

Midnight? He knew that should ring a bell but his brain was too fuzzy. “Midnight?”

“Lord, Mason. Are you paying attention?”

If he said no, she was going to totally lose her shit. It would almost be worth it, because when Maddy was losing her marbles it was fabulous to watch. Unfortunately, he wasn’t up for one of her DEFCON 5 explosions right now. “I was up all night working. Remind me.”

“Sweetheart, I need to sell you.” My mother’s insipidly sweet tone had me looking up from my menu. I hated the restaurant and we’d been here a thousand times over the years, but studying it was better than making small talk.

“Excuse me?” It wasn’t the weirdest thing she’d ever told me over lunch, but I had a feeling it would end up being in the top ten at the very least.

Her smile just went sweeter and she reached over the table and patted my arm. “It’s for charity.”

That didn’t make it any less weird.

“What kind of charity?” Getting that information seemed like a good place to start.

“The LGBT Educational Center.” When she paused and smiled, I just blinked. That earned me a sigh and she pretended to be disappointed in me. “Many young LGBT youth don’t get the same opportunities that you did, sweetheart. It’s our responsibility to help those that are less fortunate.”

I knew better than to fall for this polite line of shit.

She’d never cared one way or the other about who I slept with as long as they were from the right family. This we have to be charitable to the LGBT community bullshit only started when my cousin came out as pan and that’d been a lot trendier than just general run of the mill wants to sleep with dudes gay.

So now she and Aunt Maggie were in some kind of weird competition that seemed to involve me.

Yay.

“Yes, you and Dad went to a lot of trouble to make sure I got the degrees you wanted.” Two could play the polite asshole game.

What should have been a quick thirty-minute errand had taken a fuckin’ hour and a half. Traffic, the guy at the grocery store who couldn’t function in the checkout lane, and even the normally intensely focused clerk at his best client’s business had conspired against him. She always had everything ready to go so he had no idea why it had taken twenty minutes to find the paperwork.

Thirty minutes would have been plenty of time. An hour would have been close but doable. An hour and a fuckin’ half? Nope.

Putting his bags on the counter in the simple, compact kitchen, Mark grabbed the manila envelope. Normally he would pick up a box filled with receipts but today it was a large envelope. Making his way towards the master bedroom at the back of the apartment, he jumped when his phone buzzed in his pocket. Hiking up his sweater, Mark dug the phone out of his jeans, and frowned at it as he saw the name on the screen.

He didn’t have a choice. If he didn’t answer she’d call back in five minutes worried that something was wrong or super excited that he was on a date. Either conversation would be weird.