“I’m not a stalker.” I thought getting that out first thing was important to establishing innocence just in case it went to court, but the group of guys standing around me all cocked their heads to the side like confused puppies.
They weren’t puppies.
Well, most weren’t.
They were models at Leashes & Lace, an online store that specialized in male lingerie and fetish stuff, and they might’ve been the sexiest men I’d ever seen…and they might’ve been the reason I’d decided I might’ve slid from bi-curious into something else.
“Okay, even I can see he needs a keeper of some sort.” Emerson sat down on the other side of the table and seemed to signal the plan to everyone else because they filed in around us.
I was going to pick a smaller table next time I went to their coffee shop to watch them. This hadn’t turned out like I’d expected at all. They came in. They ordered. They flirted and said dirty stuff. They left. That was how this was supposed to have gone.
Didn’t they know that?
When had the plan changed?
They did the same thing at least three times a week.
“The question is what kind.” As Emerson frowned at me, the other men nodded like he made perfect sense.
Which was scary based on what I knew about him.
He’d been raised by wolves or something and the weirdest stuff came out of his mouth…and not even weird for the internet weird.
“He likes the lingerie and he’d look cute in panties, so maybe he needs a Master?” Lane, one of the lingerie models who worked down the street, frowned and studied me like he was picturing me naked…practical naked not sexy naked.
There seemed to be a difference but I didn’t understand it yet…which was one of the reasons I had to watch them so closely. They just didn’t seem to realize how confusing they were, and that made them even more confusing.
And how was I going to learn things if I didn’t study the topics that were confusing?
“He’s got kind of a willowy look.” Kenton, the only actual pup in the group, nodded slowly, but what he’d actually meant to say was I looked like a stereotypical twink. “He’d look good in nighties and those kinds of things, but it’d need to be a Master who loved sexy stuff.”
Was that something I should say thank you for?
I couldn’t decide if I was being praised or appraised.
Was this one of those confusing BDSM things where both were something I had to thank him for?
“Couldn’t you see him running around with a tail, though?” Ian, the little in the group who seemed to be dating a pup and a Dom based on what I’d seen of his online presence, looked like he wanted to smile and bounce. “I think he’d be fun to throw a ball for. What about a Handler?”
Really?
Kenton made tails sound like fun, but I’d never had anything like that in my ass, so I wasn’t sure.
“What do you think?” Lane asked the question like it was all perfectly reasonable.
Was he talking to me?
“That you guys might be more awkward than me and just not know it.” Hmm. “No offense.”
They all went still and just blinked.
“Why would we take offense at something you said?” Emerson looked genuinely confused. “You’re weirder than we are. We’re not stalkers.”
Well.
Everyone looked at Lane but no one said it.
He’d kind of stalked his boyfriend before they’d become official.
“Going to coffee shops where interesting people might show up is not stalking.” I’d looked up the definition of that just to be sure. “And I think that weird thing is debatable.”
I was curious and awkward but they were all another level of strange.
“We’re happy. We’ve got good jobs. We’ve got loving Masters, Handlers, and Owners.” Emerson frowned, which looked kind of odd on him because he was usually smiling. “One Owner. Just mine so far.”
“So far?” Kenton did a wiggle in his seat and looked a bit like a puppy, making me wonder when the last time he’d gotten to run around and play was.
Last Tuesday during the photo shoot?
He needed more exercise than that.
“Owner has the most interesting friends.” Emerson’s excitement made me nervous. “Most are online but a few are in town.”
Oh.
“They’re just having a hard time finding dolls to care for because the marketing around it is terrible.” He was shaking his head like it was sad, but I was pretty sure he was talking about living out some kind of old Criminal Minds episode…no that Las Vegas show that was so weird.
The reruns of that were insane.
And not always very nice to kinky people…okay…none of them were nice to kinky people. Maybe he wasn’t going to end up stuffed or having fake tea parties where he was drugged?
“We need to work on how they present it.” Lane settled back in his chair like it was a reasonable discussion. “It can’t be that hard to show it off in a better light. You’ve got a man who wants to take care of you and dress you up and play with you until you orgasm. This isn’t weird. It’s cute.”
Well, when he put it that way.
“I know.” Emerson shrugged. “But I’m working on ways to fix that.”
He was?
Was that supposed to sound scary or had that been accidental?
“Playing dress-up is the best and more people need to understand that.” Shaking his head, Emerson seemed to think the whole conversation was perfectly normal. “One day I can be a fairy princess who’s getting ravished by an evil prince and the next, I can be Beauty getting punished by the Beast. She needs to learn boundaries.”
She did?
Maybe I needed to go back and watch that again?
I’d only done the Disney classics once…had that not been enough?
“Oh…we need to watch that at the next sleepover.” Ian’s eyes got wide and even I could see his little side peeking out. “Let’s do that next weekend.”
Was I supposed to respond to that?
I wasn’t going to get drunk and naked with them no matter how normal they made it sound.
“Yes. We’ll plan out my next scenes with Owner.” Emerson somehow made that word seem reasonable to use even though it had several other customers around us blinking in confusion. “We can decide how he’s going to punish his Beauty.”
He made that sound reasonable too.
“Do all Owners play with their dolls that way?” I hadn’t been able to find anything sensible online…just weird people complaining about confusing things and those stupid TV episodes that couldn’t be what Emerson was talking about.
Even he wasn’t that weird.
“Every Owner is different just like every doll is different.” Settling into what looked like a studious professor kind of mode, Emerson didn’t think my question was out of place. Which was actually nice because I got told to shut up and stop being weird on a regular basis. “My Owner makes costumes and pretty outfits for me because that’s the way he shows his creative side and his love. But other Owners would do different things to show their dolls how much they’re loved and appreciated.”
Loved and appreciated.
Well, people who liked regular dolls really loved them and were passionate about them. I’d seen collectors online and there were conventions for that kind of stuff. That hadn’t been the information I’d been looking for when I’d been trying to understand his kink, but it’d been interesting.
“Owner has a friend here who’s a sculptor artist guy and he likes dressing up his dolls in more everyday kind of costumes. He might want to play with a babydoll one day or a naughty doll the next.” Emerson sighed but I wasn’t sure why. “It’s evidently hard to find a doll who wants to explore so many different scenes.”
Why?
“Why?” Thankfully, Ian asked that because I wasn’t sure I should even though I didn’t know why. My social skills were terrible but the ones I had weren’t prepared to handle the men from Leashes & Lace. “You like playing all kinds of dress-up games.”
Emerson was fairly obvious about that even if he thought he was being discreet online, so I thought it was a reasonable question.
Emerson shrugged. “Good dolls are hard to find.”
Really?
“Which is why we need to keep an open mind and explain the benefits to new subs who are exploring their interests.” For some reason his comment had them all looking at me. “It would be a good way to test out different types of play.”
What?
They were still looking at me.
“Um…why did you guys come over to talk to me?” I probably should’ve asked that question to begin with but they were really distracting. “I already explained I’m not a stalker. I’m just curious and you’re…interesting.”
And pretty.
And fascinating.
And they always had so much fun.
“We don’t need to rehash the definition of stalking.” Lane waved that idea away, but we all knew why, so we let him. I knew that part about polite even if I was sketchy about other aspects of it. “We came to say hello and meet you formally because it’s clear you need…guidance.”
“Or you’re going to end up arrested.” Kenton rolled his eyes. “You’re too cute for jail.”
“Thank you?” That’d been a compliment, right? “Um, I didn’t do anything illegal.”
I’d double-checked.
“You guys just post everything about your life online and it’s interesting. I’ve never met anyone like you, so I just wanted to see if it was true.” It was and they were downplaying their ridiculousness. “I wasn’t going to talk to you. That’d be rude.”
And I really didn’t want to ruin my image of them by seeing them screaming at me.
Well, Eli could scream at me…that might be hot…or scary…or both?
“I’m not sure if that makes the situation more creepy or less creepy.” Ian went back to studying me before he glanced around the table.
It must’ve been some kind of signal to them because the rest started slowly nodding like they could read minds.
Could they do that?
Nothing they did would surprise me anymore, so I should probably be open-minded about the idea. But I wasn’t sure I wanted them reading my mind…did anyone make stylish tinfoil hats?
“We’ll figure this out.” Kenton sat straighter, somehow becoming the spokesperson for the group. “I’m voting Master and lingerie, but I’m not sold on him being an isolationist about it. He looks curious enough that he’s going to want to explore other things.”
“I’ll agree with you on the exploring part but wouldn’t he be cute dressed up in a diaper and a onesie?” Ian’s smile had me reminding myself we were in a coffee shop so he couldn’t talk me into actually doing anything weird.
“He’d look cute dressed up in a lot of things.” Lane leaned against the table and rested his head in his hands. “Do you think Wilder would want to sketch him when he’s dressed up?”
Oh dear.
They all nodded.
I really should’ve just kept watching them from a distance…I was not meant for close contact observation.
“He needs an Owner.” Emerson announced it like it was a done decision. “He needs someone watching over him on a full-time basis to keep him out of jail. He needs to be able to explore a variety of looks and styles because he’d be cute in so many things. He seems like he needs to be told what to do to make his Dom happy.”
He held out his hands and shrugged. “That adds up to Owner.”
How did they all manage to nod in unison?
Was it because they’d spent so much time drinking together?
Was it the being naked together thing?
According to the stuff that showed up in their online blog posts, they did both of those things a lot.
“I…” The way they were watching me made it clear they expected me to say something. “I don’t do well on dates or real-life stuff in general. I’m happy with watching. From a distance. Promise.”
Even sitting at the coffee shop to watch them had become stressful and I was pretty sure I was doing it wrong. There was no way I was letting them pawn me off on unsuspecting Doms. That wouldn’t be fair to anyone.
“Who said anything about dating?” The way Emerson cocked his head made it clear I should be worried. “You’re a doll who needs an Owner. Dating would be counterproductive. You need to see if you’re ready to admit that being a doll will make you happy and he needs to see you don’t think he’s weird.”
Huh?
“I wouldn’t find anyone weird for something like that.” I thought they were weird for stuff that was completely unrelated to kink things. “You’ve explained why it’s not weird.”
The internet had done a terrible job of that, but Emerson was clearly happy with his Owner. He and Kenton had even been bragging online about their Doms tracking them, so it was obvious they were both happy even if it was confusing.
“Then we don’t have a problem.” Emerson’s announcement had everyone nodding like they’d come to the same conclusion. “What kind of doll scene would work best? His Owner is really open-minded.”
“We have to get his limits first.” Kenton sounded too logical for whatever he was going to say to actually be logical. “We don’t even know if he’s body shy or doesn’t like being naked.”
Oh dear.
They were all looking at me.
“You have to answer honestly so we get your limits right.” Lane smiled like he wanted to pat my head. “You can’t lie to your Owner about things like that. It’ll make him feel bad if he gets a scene wrong and you get upset.”
Wait.
“I don’t want anyone to get upset.” It wouldn’t be fair to the Owner guy. “I…I don’t mind watching you guys get naked. I don’t know if I’ll worry about me doing it.”
Because I hadn’t done it before.
