“This really isn’t a good idea. We don’t surprise people with photos and lingerie.” Talking to myself earned me a few odd looks from the people walking by, but I really didn’t care. I had better things to worry about than their opinions on my mental health—like how Spencer was going to react to the pictures Devin wanted.
To play devil’s advocate, I thought Spencer would love the chance to be in the pictures, but he’d made it very clear to Eli he wasn’t ready to do it.
Maybe he just wasn’t ready for Eli?
That had been my logic as well as Devin’s when he’d brought up the idea, but now I wasn’t so sure. Talking a nervous sub or model through a shoot was my specialty, but this didn’t feel like the same thing. Consent was the big issue—and a weekend of complete submission might not qualify if Spencer had sunk deeply into the role.
It was going to come down to how he reacted when I got there.
Which was what I’d been saying for the past week.
It was like walking around in circles. I hadn’t gotten anywhere, but I’d worn myself out and I was ready to just get off the wheel. And yet I couldn’t because what if it was what Spencer really wanted and he couldn’t make himself ask for it?
I’d seen the look on his face before all hell had broken loose at that stupid pizza party and the light had come crashing down on his head. He’d wanted it. The whole thing scared the fuck out of him, but he’d wanted it.
That had to count, right?
“Fuck. I should have just said I was going on vacation.” I loved the photo shoots, and most of the time I loved everyone at Leashes & Lace, but I was big on honesty and complete openness. No matter what.
And this did not feel like it fell into that category.
“BDSM is so fucking complicated.”
And I was going to have to stop talking to myself or some little old lady was going to whack me with her purse. Not sure if I was supposed to apologize for that random statement, I just smiled at the frustrated woman and kept walking toward Devin’s place.
Parking was nuts for some reason and I’d had to go all the way around the block to find a spot. Having to drag my cases all that way hadn’t helped my mood any. I’d always had endless patience for the models I worked with and even my own subs, but dealing with other Doms and their subs was harder.
It could be like stepping into a minefield because everything was always out of my control.
Even if it just boiled down to simple jealousy or a Dom who couldn’t back off and let me find the shots, it would still end up driving me crazy. Which was why one of my big rules for models was that I wouldn’t photograph them around boyfriends or Doms. If they wanted a chaperone or friend, that was fine, but no lovers.
I had a feeling I was going to end up pissed off at Preston for making me break my rule, but there had been no way to turn him down when he and Devin had approached me. Spencer was curious and I’d seen how hungry he was for the opportunity, but he was too nervous to do it under conventional circumstances.
Just trying to imagine the circus his first shoot would turn into had been enough to make me start second-guessing my negativity. If he wanted to explore being a model, Preston was right. This was the only way.
I just wished I knew Devin more.
Hell, I wished I knew Spencer more.
A bit of polite conversation and a few hellos were not enough to put him at ease for the photo shoot. At least I didn’t think it would be based on how he’d reacted at the last one.
Maybe having Devin there would be positive for him?
This had clusterfuck written all over it.
As I got to the building, I forced myself to stop in the small lobby area by the elevator and take a long, deep breath. Adding my stress and questions to the photo shoot wouldn’t help Spencer. He was the only one who mattered at this moment. Not his Dom. Not Preston.
Spencer.
I forced myself to stand there and mentally walk through the times we’d been introduced and our interactions. I thought about which models he’d watched and which clothing had appealed to him more. Eli had commented at one point when he was pouting about Spencer not wanting to do a shoot that he would be so perfect in a wicked mix of innocence and debauchery.
Eli was insane, but he was right.
And with comments like that coming from the crazy man, it was no wonder Spencer was scared.
But then there was Devin and the total power exchange they were exploring this weekend. Devin had been forced to tell me their plans in more detail when I’d first been contacted about the shoot and had turned it down.
We all had flashbacks about the accident where Spencer had hurt himself trying to escape the possibility of being in a photo shoot, and I didn’t want a repeat.
I was fairly sure Spencer would like the shoot if he was in the right frame of mind and was relaxed. But the big questions at the moment were how would he feel today and was I the right photographer. Since I couldn’t figure out that information until we actually talked, I opened my eyes and took another deep breath before heading for the elevator.
Going upstairs gave me another few moments to get in the right frame of mind for the shoot, but I was still questioning it as Devin opened the door smiling. “Hey, thanks for doing this for us.”
So far, so good.
When he stuck out his hand, I released the handle on my case and shook it. “No problem. I think they’re going to turn out great.”
He gestured that I should come inside and grabbed the handle on one of the cases. I hadn’t been sure what kind of lighting or props we’d need, so I might have overpacked for a private shoot, but I’d rather look like I was moving than not have what I needed.
“I agree.” Devin glanced behind him and dropped his voice to a low whisper. “Spencer is in the living room. He’s nervous, but we talked about other people seeing him this weekend, and you were on the short list of people who didn’t scare the hell out of him.”
That was both confusing and cute at the same time.
I kept my voice just as low as I spoke. “I’m glad I don’t scare him, but I’m going to be honest with you. If I don’t like the feel of the scene or if he’s too nervous, I won’t do it. I was at the shoot where he got hurt and that scared the fuck out of me.”
They might have moved on from it, but some of us hadn’t found that mental space yet. I’d never had anyone get hurt on a shoot, and even though I hadn’t been at fault, it stuck with me.
Devin nodded. “No, I get it.”
He stepped closer, still leaving his voice low. “This is something he really wants, but he can’t ask for it yet. That’s the whole idea for the weekend. He gets to explore things he’s admitted he’s curious about because asking for them is too hard. He’s so much more confident now than he was a few weeks ago even, but it’s going to take time.”
It was my turn to nod. “I can understand that. I just need to be careful, and having you around will be different for me. I usually do shoots at the studio, and never when boyfriends are around because you lot can be nuts.”
Devin chuckled. I knew the sound must have carried to the living room, but Spencer didn’t call out. Was he gagged or just obedient?
I was voting for too shy to question what was happening.
“Hey, I’ll have you know I’m completely sane and not the jealous type.”
I’d heard that one before.
Right before the asshole had decked me.
“I just want to make sure we’re all on the same page.” I wasn’t going to apologize for putting a sub or a model first. Especially if they were nice and well behaved.
No matter how sane their Dom seemed.
Yeah, I should have spent more time with both of them before agreeing to this.
“We are.” Devin smiled reassuringly. “Come on in. Leave your stuff there for a minute, and when you’re ready, we’ll get everything sorted out.”
“Sure.” But I grabbed my camera out of my bag before setting it down by the cases. “Just in case.”
It wasn’t exactly an addiction, but I’d be the first to admit I felt better with my camera in my hands. Though since I’d heard the same thing from other artists about having pencils or writers having a notebook around, I’d never let myself feel weird about it.
Devin shrugged. He’d been around the studio long enough to have chalked up most of our oddities as artistic curiosities. I’d never seen him complain or even look at anyone strangely and that included Eli and Roman at their most insane.
He was a better person than I was when it came to those two.
As we headed into the living room, I saw Spencer immediately. He was staring up at me with wide eyes, kneeling on the floor in a long slinky nightgown that pooled around him. It highlighted his body beautifully and the shyness gave him an old-fashioned look, but it provided him a lot of coverage, which had me feeling better about the whole thing.
“Beautiful.” My fingers were itching to bring my camera up, but we needed to talk first.
Spencer blushed and looked down at the floor, shifting enough that I could see the faintest outline of his erection. Was he aroused or was he wearing something that kept him hard? It was impossible to tell. Depending on the direction their weekend had taken, it could’ve gone either way.
“Thank you.” His quietly mumbled words said he was at least paying attention and had permission to talk, which also made me feel better.
Devin took a seat on the couch nearest to Spencer, and I sat on a close-by chair. I didn’t want to crowd either of them, but sitting too far away might have suggested to Spencer that there was something to be embarrassed about.
Devin trailed a hand over Spencer’s head, tenderly caressing around his ear and down his neck. “Tyler would like to make sure that you’re alright with him taking some private photos just for us.”
Then Devin glanced over at me. “We talked about this as an option when we were going over limits, but this session is something he just found out about.”
Spencer was remarkably calm for just having heard about it. He blushed again as he leaned into Devin’s hand. “You hinted, though.”
Devin chuckled. “Maybe a little.”
Okay, so not a huge surprise, then.
“What do you think about my taking some photos of you?” The way he glanced up at Devin had me itching to include both the men in the shoot, but that wasn’t what he’d asked for.
Spencer swallowed several times and then opened and closed his mouth twice before nibbling on his lip and trying again. It took several long moments but he wasn’t moving away or throwing himself at Devin, so I could only assume he was working up the nerve to say yes.
Was it a bad thing that I was glad he was away from most of the furniture so he couldn’t accidentally hurt himself?
Probably.
He finally seemed to give up on whatever he’d been trying to say to begin with because he slouched a bit and his words came out easily. “It’s one of the things on my list. The green part of my list. And you’re one of the people.”
Yeah, that couldn’t have been what he’d been trying to say at first.
But jumping off from there might be easier, so I stuck to the topics he’d already mentioned. “Thank you for putting me on your list. I would love to take your picture, but can I ask why I was on the list?”
His blush had started to fade, but it came back in a rush of color. “Master said I had to be honest…and well, you’re nice to the pups and you never lose your temper at anyone.”
Okay, that made sense.
Again, I stuck to the topics he’d brought up. “I like photographing the pups. They’re always happy and their Doms seem to be the only Masters who don’t behave badly at photo shoots.”
No idea why.
Spencer giggled. “My favorite picture from the last photo shoot with the pups was the one with the pup and Master curled up together sleeping.”
I chuckled. “That turned out fabulous. I was just glad they let us use the picture.”
That had been one of my favorite shoots as well.
Spencer was still smiling as he wiggled and shifted. “They’re so cute to watch and their blogs are always so funny.”
If he liked the pups so much, there was a chance that he’d read my posts about the shoot. Maybe that was why I’d gotten included in his list. There were other photographers who were polite and functional, but not many who’d done as many pup shoots as I had.
“You know they love it when other models come to the shoots. Why don’t we arrange for you to come next time?” As long as the visitors were open-minded and laid-back, they loved having someone new to play with. Spencer was just the kind of sub they’d love to show off for.
His eyes went wide. “Oh, I couldn’t.”
Devin’s chuckle said that hadn’t meant no.
“We’ll talk about it when it gets closer.” I was going to push a bit more, but not until it was temptingly close. “They have safewords just like you or any other sub, so they’d let us know if they didn’t want to. One of the pups has the safeword grandma because he said that’s guaranteed to make his Dom stop everything.”
As Spencer giggled, I nodded dramatically to encourage his laughter. “Yep, hand-to-god. Evidently the Dom has this crazy old grandma that scares the hell out of him. That’s one of the funniest I’ve heard unless you can beat him?”
Spencer shook his head. “No, I’m boring—just stoplight colors.”
“Hey, that just makes it easier to remember.” No point in picking out something you might forget.
And besides relaxing him, I now had his safewords without actually having to ask and make him nervous. “But pups don’t get pretty dresses and lingerie, even if the tails and masks come in a lot of fun colors.”
Each had their own draws, though.
But to me, there was nothing like the line of a man barely covered in silk and lace.
Spencer blushed again, but I could see his fabric-draped cock jerk as his hands skimmed over his nightgown-covered legs. “The tails look fun, but yeah, the lingerie is nicer.”
“I agree.” I took a chance and gestured toward his outfit. “Like this. It’s beautiful on its own, but to really make it stand out it needs a sexy man to show it off. That’s why we have the models and not just lifeless mannequins to advertise the lingerie.”
And when that was combined with the blog and the overall way Preston approached the company, it made a huge difference.
Spencer’s blush didn’t get any deeper, but he did run his hands down his legs again, looking like he didn’t know what to do with them. I’d seen new models do the same thing. “Why don’t you drape your arms over your legs…yes…just like that for me.”
I gave him a smile that usually put the most nervous models at ease and lifted my camera slightly. “Let’s do one or two so you can see how it looks on you.”
His gaze darted down to the nightgown before peeking back up at me through his lashes. “It’s very pretty.”
Another non-answer that said more than he thought it did…or maybe just more than he could otherwise.
“But its wearer is very pretty too.” I winked at Devin to make sure he was still cool before looking toward the far windows.
“Will you open the curtains a bit more? The light in here is pretty good.” It wasn’t good enough for a professional shoot, but for personal pictures, it would work fine.
As Devin stood, I turned back to Spencer. His gaze was bouncing back and forth between us, but nothing about his reaction said he wanted it to stop. I stood up from the couch and started moving around him, slowly letting him get used to my presence. “I bet when your Master put it on you he told you in very thorough detail how much he liked it.”
Spencer’s head ducked down as he blushed, but as I moved around beside him, he lifted his head and looked up through his lashes.
Got it.
“Perfect.”
That made him giggle, which gave me another cute shot.
It didn’t matter that it was a lingerie shoot—I loved the innocent happiness that radiated from him. It was a fabulous contrast. “Sit up on your knees and look at your Master. I want you to think about how he was watching you earlier when it was just the two of you. I bet you felt so beautiful…” As Spencer turned, his erection was silhouetted against the light.
No restraint. He was all natural.
He had to have realized I could see his body, but as he looked at Devin, any embarrassment or worry faded away. “Your Master devoured you with his eyes and raked his hands down your body.” They’d clearly had fun earlier because little drops of precum staining the fabric made it even clearer he wasn’t wearing anything under that nightgown. “You were probably nervous and blushing as he told you about the shoot.”
As he responded to my words and the fiery passion radiating from Devin, it got easier to keep the words flowing and push his reactions even more. “I bet he said how sexy you were going to look in the lingerie. The idea was scary, but it made you feel needy and a little wicked too.”
That earned me another blush as he shifted his gaze to me, but there was something honest about his arousal. He knew what he wanted even if it scared him.
The pictures were going to be phenomenal.
